In our culture most of us would say we married for love. We also hoped that love, including sexual intimacy, would enhance us. Then we found out that sexual attraction was not enough and we also had to find ways to live compatibly and learn to become good friends. There are many couples who started out with love feelings and over time got frustrated with each other and their love faded into the background.
Love is a feeling and for it to grow it has to be nourished. Just like a seed needs water, soil, and light in order to grow so does love. Whether the initial love between a couple continues to flower depends on three things. These three things are what constitute a couple relationship. They are ME, YOU, and WE. How relationship love flowers or fades has to do with how these three parts work together. Each person can no longer think only of "ME" but also has to think of "US" which is the process between them.
Couples who wonder "where has all the romance gone" have lost sight of the WE between them. In order to rekindle love and romance the three parts of a relationship have to be attended to. Each person has to take full responsibility for taking care of self in order to be the best he/she can be and at the same time be emotionally sensitive to his/her partner.
The lovely part of people who are newly in love is that they are focused on the person they are attracted to. When you want to rekindle your relationship open yourself up to looking at the process between you. Then figure out which communication habits you have gotten into that no longer work for you. I have known many couples who, when they understand their process and introduced positive change, where able to rekindle their love.
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